Sooner or Later

This is going to be very groovy.

Sooner Or Later - Behind The Scenes

And The Last Shall Be First

Digital Gravel:

3Sixteen are holding a funeral service for the death of creativity and you're invited! Streetwear brands continue to feast on each other's concepts and the same ideas are recycled over and over again. Just like they say, there's nothing new under the sun. The sun is represented with a contrasting metallic foil print. by 3Sixteen.

3sixteen: The New Royalty
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With mantras such as "A Time to Kill/Heal" and "The Last Shall Be First" and "You reap what you sow", you'd be a fool to doubt the sincerity of their product. In my opinion some of their graphic tees are hit or miss, but I respect their direction.

I use that as a segue to my feature point. There is truly nothing new under the sun. We go through this life and create our stories everyday. More often than not, we end up like our parents. I don't want to get caught in the narrative that was set before me, but I often see parallels.

I have a healthy awareness of life. I learn a something new everyday. Sometimes I wish that translated on a resume, but that's a different story. I'm learning not to point fingers. There's the age old adage that if you point your finger at someone else, you're pointing four fingers back at yourself. Lest we forget about Matthew 7: 1-5

1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

To the point, there's not too much that hasn't been thought of before, but who's to say you won't do it better? As a resident Graduate Professor at DoYouniversity, I want to take this time out to tell you to be yourself. No other purpose to the post except, "Don't judge, lest ye be judged" and do something different with the talents you're blessed with.

Also, the 3Sixteen brand is constantly evolving and I support what they're rooted in, so go invest in quality threads. That is, of course, if you're into that sort of thing.

BONUS: Their lookbook videos are too exquisite not to throw in this here gift basket of literary knowledge. Taste and see that it is good. No blaspheme.

3sixteen Fall 2009 Photoshoot from 3sixteen on Vimeo.

I have a list of things on my mind that I've wanted to talk about. A lot. They're all supposed to be addressed in order. Sometimes you can't go with conventional chronology and just have to let the spirit lead you.

When you realize its not about you, you're going to find a whole new life.

Contradiction.

I can't see them coming down my eyes.

Comprehensive.

Divided we fail.

Duplicity.

Anything is possible.

Extrasensory perception.

Just to name a few. But all of those are staying on the back burner for another day/week/month/never. Today's topic: I don't have a title for today's topic. Or a theme or anything. I just have my thoughts. Here goes.


Have you ever woken up and realized you're everything you never thought you'd be. (You may be able to see where this is going.) You wake up, or snap out of a nap, or nod your head at work and think to yourself, "How did I get here?"


I have.

I woke up and realized that I am not the same. I am not the person I thought I would be at this point in my life. You think about being a "grown up" when you're little and it looks a whole lot different than it does when you're "grown." Thank God they tell you the world is a certain way when you're young. (<--future blog post?) They say you can't have regrets because without the things that have happened to you and the decisions you've made you wouldn't be who you are today. Nah. I side with Sean Carter on this one. "In this life you've gotta learn to live with regrets." I can't even pretend that I'm ok with all the choices that have gotten me where I'm at now. The ends don't justify the means. (<--another blog post?) I wake up in my parent's home. I've always been the main opponent of moving back home when I finished school. So I didn't. I hate asking for handouts. So I didn't. I'm independent. So I do things my own way. Then you realize you're that guy who stuck around too long. You're THAT guy. You graduated before everyone you knew. You have no plan. You always have plans, but they're short-term. You managed to jump 20 pounds twice. You live in excess and have an extraordinary sense of pride. You look in the mirror and you're not who you were. You've changed. You're THAT guy. You see what's wrong and you see it's your fault. You've stolen, cheated, lied, coveted, and that's just off top. The 7 deadly sins sound more like a checklist. You work hard for nothing. You work less for little. "No health insurance, scared to get sick." -Rapper Big Pooh- You pride yourself on being a people person, yet don't talk to people. You've lost a lot of the personal touch. The one person you want to be able to see "it" will never be able to see "it" again. Not correctly. That's poor.

Then it hits you. You're me. And I'm not who I was. At all.

I've come along way. A really long way. I moved back to Houston. I live with my folks. It saves money. It's not bad. At all. I needed it. I have a family that loves me in a more personal way and reaches out to know me and tries beyond what I could ever ask for to be there for me in every way imaginable. I eat good. I sleep good. I can feel it. I don't have that weight. Not like I used to. I'm there for you. If you need it. Holler at me, but don't scream. No qualms. If my sisters need anything, I'm there in the blink of an eye. Like I always wanted to be. me and my brother are good like when we were knee high...to the tree high [Sonnier]. I was darn near 22 before I got a car. I always wanted one and to some its nothing, but to me it's everything. It's one of the countless blessings I can't thank God enough for everyday. In addition to breathing, walking, talking, etc. She lives 3 hours away, but I jump out there as frequently as I can. For one, the sheer monumental blessing of having the opportunity to have the honor and privilege to call her mine is a testament to how far I/we've come. The fact that skipping town is a mere post-work-weekend-warrior is another blessing in itself. Let's go. What more could I really ask for? "I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end." -James Taylor- What I don't have in the most superficial of categories are far outweighed in the areas that matter. I've got that feeling in my soul that lets me know what life is supposed to be like. I have a God that loves me unconditionally and has given me another chance at life in addition to a small fraction of wisdom that I can't say I ever thought I'd have at 23. I've got a renewed faith. Boy if you know that feeling, you feel me. I have guidance from everywhere. I have a peace in my soul that trumps the discord in my pocket. I have a family that I couldn't ask for in my prayers. I have a set of friends that care for me and hold me down in ways I couldn't articulate if I tried. And I have a lady that loves me despite. Now you tell me what I see in the mirror when I wake up. I wake up and see that the only thing guaranteed is change. I wash the sleep out of my eyes and see the light. Literally and figuratively. I can't see the future but I can see past the past. And that's a testament in itself.

You look at life everyday and you see yourself in the mirror and you can't see the change. But if you mark the wall to see your height and you come back a year later you see you've grown 6 inches. I've grown 6 inches. 12 inches. And I'm just getting started.

Now that's a change I can believe in.

Drumroll Please...

So today is Nov. 3rd, 2008. While those who know me know that I've been very closely following the election this season, I have become aware that perhaps anyone who happens across this blog may not be someone who knows me "very well."

Now, I am only one third of the current collective that comprises the nosuitnotie entity. While I'm only at liberty to speak for myself, Smiley, I am going to go out on a limb and outright speak for the whole. I (read: we here at nosuitnotie) endorse Barack Obama. I know, I know. That's the impetus that all you undecided voters have been waiting for.

But on the cool, lets be serious. I have taken a larger interest in politics the older I've gotten. Or perhaps the more I've had classes and found something that peaked my interets about the process and the inner workings of politics as a whole. Or found the differences that the process makes in our actual lives. Who knows what it is. I remember having a small amount of interest in the last presidential election, but realizing I was registered in the wrong county and couldn't vote. That was wack. I had gotten a nice talk from a highly respected cohort of mine and it struck a chord with me that was stickier than any marketing ploy. Vote or die. And not in that Diddy way. Literally vote or die. Your father or your grandmother or someone else down your lineage, via the civil rights movement, the woman's suffrage movement or whatever it may be...we've all had someone struggle to get us where we are in this life. To afford us the civil liberties that we all take for granted. The right to eat in the same restaurants, work at the same jobs, accrue the same wages, own property, vote for elected officials, etcetera etcetera. We've seen our ancestors disenfranchised with poll taxes and grandfather clauses. More recently we've seen our election decided by literally less than 600 votes. Votes that may have been counted was it not for hanging chads. Or were it for recounts. We've seen attempts to disallow eligible voters to qualify in THIS very election season. We've seen all sorts of faulty polling booths; booths that switch tickets; booths disregarding your presidential selections; booths that are unverifiable and hacker-prone. We've seen it all. But we're still turning out in record numbers across the country to vote for change.

A change we can believe in.

I'm not one to try and convince you who to vote for because I feel it's important that everyone vote for what's important to them. What is important is that YOU vote. You can't have a stance on anything if you're not willing to make your voice heard. Otherwise you may as well complain in a soundproof room. If a tree falls in the forest and noone is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Umm maybe? Who cares? Noone knows? It doesn't make a difference. If you don't stand for nothing, then you'll fall for anything. Excuse the colloquialisms. I just know that if you care abut the issues, the issues that matter to you, then you need to make your voice heard and your vote count. Take a stand for where you stand. Whether it be abortion issues, marriage rights, health care reform, energy dependence, the state of the economy or the no-end-in-sight war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Whatever your issue may be. What's important to you is at stake. I personally am a stickler for health care reform, energy dependence and advancement and the state of the economy because those are the issues that matter to me. I voted for what I think is best for me and on top of that what I think is best for America. I am part of the struggling middle class and if the day comes where I'm not a part of it I'm going to do my best to remember where I came from and why my stance is what it is. Obama's dedication to mandatory health care is a stance I strongly support. No he's not a socialist. He's not making everything free and shared and it's all redistribution. You have to pay for your own health care. You HAVE to pay for your own health care. He'll have tax breaks for the majority that qualify and if you have health care you get to keep it if you like it. No penalties. I've had times when I wished I had health care of my own to take care of anything that comes up and didn't have it and I think it's important that everyone have health insurance available. I listened to a woman say she supported McCain on the strength that if everyone had health care there would be a lot more people at the doctor and it would delay the attention she needs. I can't imagine wanting others to suffer so I could potentially have faster care. I'm not from that and I won't become a part of that. Restructuring where the tax breaks fall is not socialism. If you were paying attention 95% of you will not see your taxes increase. 95%. I was taught that democracy is about the greatest good for the greatest amount of people. Unless the tenets of democracy are now the tenets of socialism, then I smell foul play in this socialist name-calling session. Also, tax redistribution is a part of darn near every presidency and it's really just going back to the tax breaks of previous presidencies. Don't believe the hype. I'd like to believe that the capitalist dream of free markets and trickle-down economics always works in the log run just like the next man, but we've seen first hand from the sub-prime mortgage crisis, the fallout of the major financial institutions (taking huge gambles risky derivatives) and in the actual hoarding of cash by big banks post-bailout that, without guidance, de-regulation isn't naturally going to work. Everyone doesn't naturally have integrity or do the right thing. It just doesn't happen. Now I don't know exactly where I stand on government intervention, but I know that where I stand right now I'm ok with mandated health insurance and reorganized tax breaks. Something is not working with the guidelines of the current administration so at some point you have to sit back and be open to different and changing ideas of what is right for us now. In this time of economic distress I have paid very close attention...even before I knew the full scope of the mess that we're truly in...and I have scrutinized to the full extent of my personal patience what each candidate has in mind. Mind you, I get disillusioned with politics just like the next man and I know full well that neither has a plan that's perfect, but I am also aware of who has kept a level head and sought out a more steady and clear plan for our economic future. That person is Barack Obama. This is a personal thing, but I have a strong inclination to fight pandemonium. I may be a natural skeptic , but the idea of having a leader of our nation that gets caught in the panic and makes erratic decisions based more on feeling than forethought does not reflect the characteristics of the person I want to lead my country. I've seen that for 8 years and I've had my fill. Now I don't think either candidate is perfect by any means or has reacted to every challenging situation in the "right" way, but I've seen enough over the campaigning period and throughout their history as public officials to have come to a rational and fully informed choice that, of the two candidates, there is a clear choice for who should be in charge of my nation state.

I'm prone to disillusionment with my politicians and I'm only 23. But I'm somewhat excited. Not in the bandwagon way. Not in the bumper sticker way. Not in the "My President is Black, My Lambo is Blue" way. I'm genuinely excited that this is a change we can believe in. I, like everyone else, know that one man can't do that much. But I, like everyone else, know that one man can do that much. Whether that one man be George Bush...or Dick Cheney...or Sarah Palin..or Barack Obama...or Me....or YOU. Everyone makes a difference. If I vote(d), and YOU vote, and you vote and he votes and she votes...then we can elect this person and these people and then maybe next time those people. You see the swing states this time. Believe. If you want, yes we can. Turn Texas Blue. I'm a self proclaimed Democrat, who was raised to answer "I'm an independent" and have been told I have Republican leanings. So at the end of the day I'm voting for what matters to ME. Just like you should vote for what matters to you. From the polls (which I don't believe in), to the turnout, to the monetary contributions in the campaigns, to the cultural phenomenon and fashion statements, it seems that the majority of America...and the world for that matter..can see what I see. That we need this. I know to some degree we're voting for a figure head, but we're voting for someone that I genuinely believe is going to guide our country in the right direction in a clear and thoughtful fashion. I hope in 4 years I can look back and say we made the right decision. I know we have to make the right decision now to even have that hindsight. We have to make that decision tomorrow. Please don't neglect your opportunity. You don't need to listen to anyone else say it. You don't need to listen to me say it. But please, if you care about...whatever it is you care about, then vote. If you don't then you can't be mad when your cause dies. When what you believe in doesn't go the way you want. So forget vote or die. You don't have any other options.

DIE OR VOTE.

Let's Go.

And So Began Our Reign

Stop talking, start doing.
Keep doing, start talking.
Stop running, start chasing.
Stop worrying, start planning.
Stop depending, just do it.
Matthew 6: 25-34
Stop uncertainty, get familiar.
Little things can make a big difference.
Tommorow is not promised.
...So I live for the moment.
The only certain thing is change.
Trouble don't last always.
It woulda been me, it coulda been me, it shoulda been me.
I live everyday in the overflow.
Ain't nothing to it, but to do it.
Chase with the intention to catch.
What he eat don't make you s___.
If you don't stand for something then you'll fall for anything.
Don't have your lights out, be a lighthouse for someone else.

More later.

words of wisdom

Words of wisdom do not always come from TD Jakes, Joel Olsteen or Yolanda Adams. often they come from your next door neighbor, Ms Mary, or your supervisor or from the most unlikely of places. I've found plenty of times that I've gotten the words I needed from somewhere I didn't expect it or from the person I didn't expect it from and it's always come right on time. Other times it comes from those who have the most influence in my life. But it's all good work.

God works through people.

With no further delay, words of wisdom. Pay close attention.

Tootie's Quoute of the Day

Don't run from life. Run to life.
If you live in the past, you can't have a future.
God's will be done.
We live in fear of the unknown, but if we knew the unknown what would we
live for?
Don't regret any of your yesterdays because they let you be who you are
today.
Don't cherish WHAT you have in your life, but cherish WHO you have in your
life.
Never [mess] over those who help [you] because everytime someone helps you it
takes from them.
Don't expect of others what you aren't willing to do yourself.
Everytime there is a struggle it is a preparation for what is yet to
come.
A man that is lazy accomplishes nothing, a man that is willing makes it
through life, and a man that is determined acquires everything.
A persons' conversation is the mirror of their thoughts.
We often find our destiny where we hide to avoid it.
You've got to hate to lose, more then you love to win.
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery. Live in the moment.
Nothing beats a failure but a try.
God helps those who help themselves.
We as people want things to happen when we want them to [happen], but we as
people must remember that we are not the holders of time. GOD'S will be
done! When He's ready! Not us!
Know your worth, and don't settle for less. Why should you?
You only deserve what you're willing to work for.

Desmond's Scripture of the Day:

Always starts with, "Good Morning Family" and ends with "You are Blessed"

Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and
it will be yours. Mark 11:24 Trust God.
Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do
wrong...Psalm 37:1 Don't be like others. Change them.
"Lazarus, come out!" John 11:43 Sometimes God has to call us out of our
comfort zones and remind us how great we are.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17 Do you put others first? God does.
Humility and the fear of the Lord bring wealth and honor and life.
Proverbs 22:4 Follow God and let Him exalt you.
God is with you in everything you do. Genesis 21:22 Others recognize
God's favor in your life. Do you see it?
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not
turn from it. Proverbs 22:6
Before you were born I set you apart. Jeremiah 1:5 God handpicked you
for greatness. He didn't make a mistake.
If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength! Proverbs
24:10 The storm is always rough before it ends.
No one can serve two masters. Matthew 6:24 Put your trust in God not
material possessions. God will not fail you.
Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory. 1 Corinthians 15:57 Claim the
victory in every area of your life.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding. Proverbs 3:5 God don't make mistakes.
Everything is possible for him who believes. Mark 9:23 Believe in your
heart that you can do anything. Dream big!
Who am I, that I should go to Pharoah? Exodus 3:11 What we believe about
ourselves directs our steps. Believe the best.
When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 1 Corinthians 13:11
Rise above the world around you. Expect more!
We rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces
perseverance. Romans 5:3 Trials make us stronger.
As we have the opportunity, let us do good to all people. Galatians 6:10
Helping others is the way we show God's love.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Romans 12:14
Forgive others like God forgives you.
Carry each other's burdens, in this way you will be fulfilling the law
of Christ. Galatians 6:2 Take time for others.
With man this is impossible, but not with God. All things are possible
with God. Mark 10:27 Claim victory in your life.
Get up! Pick up your mat and walk. John 5:8 Let go of past failures and
woes. Choose to succeed with God's help!
I will remember the deeds of the Lord. Psalm 77:11 Be thankful for what
God has already done in your life.
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
Proverbs 14:30 Be happy with what God has given you.
Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4 You
and God make a majority for any obstacle you face!

Sometimes it comes in casual conversation:

Mike:

14: for if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you. 15: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses"
Mike: Matt: 6:14-15
Mike: im sure uve seen it cuz its right after the Lord's prayer
Mike: but yea thats in red words bro. and obviously there's more
logistics to it or w/e but at the end of the day you have to forgive
people of their wrongs
Mike Jones: dont mean u gotta like everybody but in your heart u gotta
truly forgive which is i guess kinda hard to gauge outside of yourself

Holly:

Blessed is the man whom god corrects; so do not despise the discipline
of the almighty. For he wounds but he also binds up; he injures, but his
hands also heal. - job 5:17-18
Then he comes to men and says "i sinned, and perverted what was right,
but i did not get what i deserved. He redeemed my soul from going down
to the pit, and i will live to enjoy the light."

...and this is after disaster...

The power came back around 2 or 3 am. I was dozing and confused....on the Nyquil...so the times are unclear.





In the midst of hurricane season, they tell us to keep our gas tanks full and we don't heed there warnings. When we have the city shutdown for scattered showers (Eduoard). When our friends and family in the boot continually get hit. When we don't even talk about Haiti not existing. When Cuba is getting beat to hell. When we're so disillusioned from Eduoard and aren't affected by Gustav so it doesn't hit home like it's supposed to do. When we're so ambivalent that we manage to shake off the promise of "certain death."





When we go to work everyday...but we're still struggling to pay all of our bills. When there's the sub prime housing crisis. When Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac need to be bailed out by the fed. When AIG has to be bailed out by the Fed. Or does it? When one of our oldest and most trusted financial institutions declares Chapter 11 bankruptcy despite having survived the Great Depression a recession WWI II III and IV. The same weekend Merrill Lynch is bought out by Bank of America. When people are so scared of investing that even when the gov't steps in to help it only serves to further scare investors. When the dollar is once again worth that much less than the Euro and the peso and the rupee. When inflation went up by 5.1 % but the wages earned only went up by 3.7%. When we're in a recession because they report that the unemployment rate if 6.7% but when you factor in underemployment of those past 2 years or those who lost jobs who werent full time, etc its really more like 10.1%. That's when we get hit by Ike. Utter disaster. Disaster zone. Obliteration. The Bolivar Peninsula doesnt't even exist anymore. Galveston doesn't exist for the most part. Beaumont, Orange....the list goes on. When you get out the bulk of the storm and call to report your damage and the insurance company is in Pennsylvania and they say, man we just got hit by the hurricane too, we're expecting 10,000 claims today. When it hits the gulf coast, but they're reporting record rainfall in Chicago.



That's when you realize you're blessed.



I got off work at 5 today. Because I had to go to work. Not my folks, nor the majority of the city. But I had to trek to the downtown area on my half tank...knowing there's no gas to go to work. There's no gas to go anywhere. Because you don't work, you don't eat. But the ride was smooth.



I put on for my city. My city puts on for me. When you realize that the people...the individuals are just as, if not at time more important...as the news outlets. When you can look to Peejster, Tracking Ike and Chron, not to mention chron.com, that blessed Chron. I put on for the Houston Chronicle because they show why theyre Houston's leading news source daily. I put on for click2houston and their team. Twitter saves the world when you need up-to-the-second information.



In a time where I realized that we have so much to be worried about, we have that much more to be thankful for.



Today as I rode to work I was a little jaded. I was happy when I woke up because the power turned itself on last night mysteriously and we'd been living in the dark to the sounds of a few generators prior to that point. You never know how much you value power until you don't have any. I washed my face and brushed my teeth with ozarka. It sounds bourgeois, but in reality the water boil notice hadn't come down and there's no way to boil water without power and though it sounds extreme you don't want to be washing your face with the same water dead bodies are floating in. The reality of people having been here with no power and calling (when the circuits arent busy) to say "i'm safe, now let me get off my cell phone b/c I'm trying to conserve battery life b/c who knows when the power's coming back"..well it's all stuff you never think about until disaster strikes.

So I drove to work. The ride was smooth. I used cruise control all the way there. The streets were sparse. I was 20 mins early. You forget that the missing signs and the tree damage isn't going away even though the city starts to look a tidbit better everyday. It's still a disaster area, but you're getting used to it. Because this is life. You forget that despite the clean ups theres some things that arent fixed. And arent gonna be fixed. You forget that even though it's called the city of syrup that it's now the city of lean. Yes, all the trees lean. And not in the same direction so you know the hurricane brought tornadoes. You stop noticing that there's traffic signs missing. Not stop sighs. But traffic signs. Oh you need to know where you're at on the HOV? No there's no sign for that anymore. In fact there's no HOV lane. You can't use that when there's nothing powering the in/out gates. You don't realize when you get to work that there's going to be missing windows. You don't even notice that the windows downtown are missing until they begin to board them up a week later. You don't even think that not only your house, but your office building and every other building everywhere has water damage. But that's not important. It's the people that are important. So i know I'm blessed. When you realize that everyone scrounging for gas is not only so they can get from point A to point B, but because their generator only runs for 8 hours at a time. That it's been a few days and they've spent hundreds on gas just to keep their food and medicine cold. When you you realize that it's really not even close to ok. It;s a disaster. when you realize that over 2 million people are without power and yet everyone's doing their best to hold their heads. I know I'm blessed so I say i'm blessed. Amidst coworkers paying $10 a gallon for gas and price gouging running rampant. State to state even. Food price gauging even. When your coworkers go to PODs and work half days because they live in the hood and looting is rampant. When theres been an amazingly small amount of accidents to say that no traffic lights work. When you run traffic lights without even realizing they were once there. We're gonna make it. It's crazy because the trees look bad, the cities on lean and everything is generally in that much more shoddy condition. My whole city has a blue roof. But you turn on the radio and the people are appreciative. they just wanna know when theyll get power. Oh in a week or 2. Oh word, thanks Jimbo. and it hits you, they're happy because they even can communicate by phone. we're gonna make it.

So i ride home after work.

I exited 45 at scarsdale like natural and there was no point. The ride is smooth. every other car, almost literally, is a truck to fix the electricity. the radio is playing great, even upbeat and inspirational music. Of the stoplights that still exist even some of the broken ones are flashing now. Others are just broken, but thats cool too. 97.9 the boxx (shelly wade...the boxx) is very informative and people call in to say they appreciate them, even when they deliver bad news. They still take it as good as they possibly can. everyone attests they're blessed regardless because no matter what it could've been worse. We beat the water. The wind. The tornadoes and the storm. We have little gas and little food. The trees, the ones left standing anyway, in parts or in segments, look bad. And it's not just ours; it's yours; its everyone's . There's not enough PODs and FEMA isn't picking up and when they do the wait is sometimes hours. The neighbors are bonding, not only because we need each other, but because we literally have no boundaries anymore. Your yard is my yard. I got off work, to go to work .And you know what. I'm blessed. Beyond my wildest imagination. I love you. I love my family. My God is good. My city stands.

I put onnn for my city.

Can't keep running away

Man the internet is a monster,
Excuse my flow, its my stream of conscioussss
I keep veering off on topics
It's just because ya'll my favorite people to talk with
-Murs- "Murs Inatra"

Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not
Baby, when I know you're only sorry you got caught

I hate that song. Really, but I've been ready to speak on it for a good while and I knew today was going to be the day, but then I happened to have a conversation that solidified it even more immediately pre-blogging.

I've heard about the 11th commandment being "Thou shalt not get caught" for a lot of people. And it's true. People live there lives this way. I think a true sign of maturity is to stop running.

We've all known someone who runs from their problems. Either subverts them or outright runs. You switch high schools, you leave your college, you move cities, whatever you need to do. The older you get the more it happens. Hell, anyone could really say I'm one of those people. But only if you really boogie with me will you know that I completely understand that "I guess knowing when I'm weak is when I'm really being strong." I don't know anyone who hasn't hit a point where they need a clean slate, and if they haven't gotten there yet, then God bless them. But you can't shake your past. You can't juke the mirror and you can't lose your shadow. It's always your past. Ironically it's called your past, but sometimes it feels impossible to get past it. Regardless, I've hit a point where I don't try to run. Which is a lot harder than it sounds depending on where you're coming from. Not everyone has to face their indiscretions everyday. But you reap what you sow. And you can't really get to your blessings without giving your whole testimony. Not your half testimony, but your whole testimony. That's what they tell me anyway. You can't be held accountable if noone knows where you're coming from. Because you can easily slip back into the things that held you down if noone knows what you've been dealing with. So I've decided it's just a part of my life that you know where I'm coming from. And you probably know where I'm coming from. So since you know that, you can hold me accountable. So you reap what you sow, then I'm sowing accountability, honesty and humility. We'll see what I reap. If nothing else, virtue is it's own reward. Funny thing is people run from everything. Well it's not funny, it's true. You can see it in your politics with cover ups everyday. You can see it in your goverment. You can see it in history. So it's got to be fairly difficult to really submit and hold yourself accountable. Virtue is not as easy as it seems and standing up to deal with everything is not as easy as it sounds. But it has to be done. Sometimes you can show people better than you can tell them.


No act will ever be free of consequence,
It don't cost a dime for you to use your common sense
-Murs- "Free"

Can't keep runnin away.....

I must admit on some occasions I went out like a punk and a chump
Or a sucka or something to that effect
Respect I used to never get
Cause all I got was upset
When n's use to be like "whats up fool!" and tried to sweat
A n' like the Lip for no reason at all
I can recall crip n' throwin c's in my face
Down the hall, I'm kickin it in the back of the school eating chicken at three
Wondering why is everybody always picking on me
I tried to talk and tell them chill I did nothing to deserve this
But when it didn't work I wasn't scared just real nervous
And unprepared to deal with scrapping no doubt
Cause my pappy never told me how to knock a n' out
But now in 95 I must survive as a man on my own
F around with Fatlip yes ya get blown
I'm not trying to show no macho, it's shown
But when its on, when its on, then its on

Can't keep runnin away...

There comes a time in every man's life when hes gotta handle s' up on his own
Can't depend on friends to help you in a squeeze,
Please, they got problems of their own
Down for the count, on seven chickens s' don't get to heaven til they faced these fears in these fear zones
Used to get jacked back up in high school
I played it cool just so some real s' wont get full blown
Being where I'm from
They let the smoke come quicker
Than an evil red-neck could lynch a helpless colored figure and

As a victim, I invented low-key
Until the keyhole itself got lower than me .
So I stood up and let my free-form form free.
Said I'm gonna get some before they knocking out me.
I don't sweat it I let the bulls' blow in the breeze
In other words just freeze

Can't keep runnin away...

Its 1995, now that I'm older
Stress weighs on my shoulders
Heavy as boulders
But I told ya
Till the day that I die I still
will be a soldier
Thats all I told ya
And thats all I showed ya
And all this calamity is ripping my sanity
Can it be Im a celebrity
Whose on the brink of insanity
Now don't be wishing of switching any positions with me
Cause when you in my position, it aint never easy
To do any type of maintaining
Cause all this gaming and faming from
Entertaining is hella straining to the brain and...
But I cant keep runnin I just gotta keep keen and cunning...


Can't keep runnin' away...

The REUPs be like birthday parties...

Strictly business as we get started up again.

Bob Marley Discography (I won't even try to provide the links, grab them yourself, site is NSFW)

Pimp C - Greatest Hits - Chopped and Screwed

The Love Guru (site NSFW)
Speed Racer (site NSFW)

Wall-E (site NSFW)

The Happening (site NSFW)

Video Game: Spore (From the creator of the SIMS) (site NSFW)

Hello here I am

Hello here I am the hungry hooligan from Hoofddorp born in Amsterdam. Listen to what I have to bring; I have the voice of a poet, the smile of friend, the thoughts of a brother, the cry of a son, the care of a father, the heart of an athlete, the blood of a slave and the mind of a king. I am the found child, the lost soul, the keeper of secrets, the anchor of information. I am the cliche, I am the definition of dedication.  I wish you could see what I see. If the world has covered you eyes, reality will start slipping, in order not to get lost, you have to keep listening. If the opportunity were to present itself, I might just have to reinvent myself. Many people’s life is on pause, only thinking about the problem, never the cause. That is why at night they turn and toss, not listening to the boss. I try not to break the laws, I try not to have any flaws. While I maintain to be fond of the metric meter, as of now, I measure distance in yards. Life for me has never been hard, the way I was raised is my only wildcard. I don’t sleep allot, I’m rarely off guard. Cheeseburgers and action figures are my vices, to see my daughter smile is priceless. I try to always stay calm in times of crisis. We are fighting for this American pie, with not enough slices. I don’t want your fish, just teach me fishing. Work is aggravating, play is abirritation. Repetition can keep you stuck in the same position. I compete, because I love competition. Same old life, same tradition. Same old Syd, same old mission.

We Talkin' Bout Practice Vol. 1

Hip Hop Saved My Life

We Talkin' Bout Practice Vol. 1


I put on for my city.

Love in America

Love in America by Sydmil E. Harris

The ever so popular idea of love is similar to the idea of democracy. It works great in theory, but the reality is, it more often than not fails. Especially in America, the country with the highest divorce rate on the planet. America has propagated democracy for decades. The same goes for love. For either concept the result is often not satisfactory. The reason that is true in my opinion, is that both consist out of a virtually unlimited number of compromises, something that most are just not always willing to do.

The secret of making a success out of democracy and love in their practical applications is to allow for a fairly wide margin of errors, thus patience. Let us also not forget that Americans have a tough time submitting to any type of uniformity for any length of time. After all, why should they? They live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. But this does not satisfy a nation that, in spite of its devotion to practicality, also strongly believes in perfection.

Yes, I realize that it may seem a tad odd for me, a foreigner, to speak of the troubles Americans face in their social life. But the truth is that I had always been sure I would find love here, which I did. Despite the obvious problems, Americans are still rather optimistic. And why should they not be right? Life here is good, for some…

Before landing here I had seen a great deal of American movies. These movies all gave me the impression that love in America is mostly triumphant, and that, in spite of many unfortunate accidents, a love story cannot but end very well indeed. Of course the movies always show struggles and problems, but things never stay wrecked. Even when the happy couple is compelled to divorce, this is not the end of everything. In most cases it is only the beginning. Very soon they will remarry, sometimes with one another, and always —without ever an exception —for love. I know what you are thinking, how can one think that movies give a reliable picture of what actual life is like? The truth is of course they don’t. Even movies based on actual events are hardly ever representative of the truth. (Take a look at the real Frank Lucas, the main character from American Gangster, nothing like Denzel) All I am saying is that American movies do represent the image people want love to have. This Image consists out of three basic principals; 1) love is the only reason why a man and a woman should get married 2) love is always wholesome, genuine, uplifting, and fresh, like a new born child. 3) if a relationship, for some reason or other, fails to keep you uplifted, wholesome, and fresh, the only thing to do is to begin all over again with another partner.

Tell me, am I the ignorant foreigner, tactless for questioning the validity of these premises? The truth is that I felt completely transformed the moment I took my first stroll on the UT Campus. My European skepticism evaporated with each step I took. And now that I am still young, but live an “old man’s life”, I am happy to find that maturity and even old age are merely (perhaps European) conventions of thought. I am slowly but surely adopting the American method, which is to be young and act young for the rest of my life —or at least until the expiration of my green card.

Whenever I go back to the Netherlands and listen to the radio, I am always surprised to find that so many songs can be written on subjects other than love. I have no statistics on the subject, but I am willing to bet that at least 80% of songs in America are about love, whether it is love gone bad, or love gone right, the topic is love. It seems to me that love, like everything else, is sold to the public. And because this is a consumer society, the very word, when heard so many times, becomes like an obsession. It penetrates one's sub consciousness like a subliminal message.

All of these factors contribute to the nationwide misunderstanding of the word love. However, there is one aspect that makes everything slightly more difficult, if not impossible. Men have never believed this, and have learned to be happy without it, women, especially American women, have. The American woman still entertains the delightful illusion that there must be some man on this earth who can understand her. It seems incredible to her that love, within legal bonds or outside of them, should not work out as advertised. It took my wife a while before she realized that the big wedding, with the white dress, and the grossly expensive engagement ring, are not indicative of future happiness. Success —the constant effort to make things work perfectly and the conviction that they can be made to —is the great national fixation. It is the foundation of the American Dream.

The American dream entails the notion that success has a universal formula. As we mature in life, we realize that the formula is not universal but more like buying a suit; There are several sizes that are close to your dimensions, but some tailoring is usually required to make it fit they way you want it to. For instance, I am a 46L. To make my suit fit me the way I want it to though, it take it to my Russian tailor. I always need to get several things adjusted; I have a small waist but big thighs, my jacket also need several adjustments. She does an excellent job. But, I digress… Another perfect example is the difference between an American cookbook and a French one. A French recipe seldom tells you how many ounces of butter to use to make anything. French cookbooks are full of mysterious measurements such as a pinch of pepper, a suspicion of garlic, or a generous sprinkling of brandy. There are constant references to seasoning to taste, as if the recipe were merely intended to give a general direction, relying on the experience of the cook to make the dish turn out right.

American recipes look like doctors' prescriptions. Perfect cooking seems to depend on perfect dosage. Some of these books give you a table of calories and vitamins —as if that had anything to do with the problem of eating well! It seems to me that love is approached in the same way.

Thus the problem of love in America seems to be the result of conflicting and rather unrealistic ways of approaching it. Too many songs, too many stories, too many pictures, and too much romance on the one hand, and too much practical advice on the other. It is as if the experience of being in love could only be one of two things: a superhuman ecstasy, the way of reaching heaven on earth and in pairs; or a mental condition to be treated by specialists.

It is not easy, nor perhaps of any use, to draw any conclusion from all this. I am but a simple European who has perhaps lost the fresh point of view of the visitor because he lives here, and who is not quite sure of what it means to be a European any more. I sometimes wonder if there is any real difference between the way men and women get along on either side of the world. I do think that the reason for the high American divorce rate can be traced to a cultural source. It is the strong feelings of revolt against human inadequacy to be perfectly happy, with anything. In Europe people are taught that compromise is not synonymous with defeat,but compromise is un-American.

Of course nothing is lost. There is no reason to think that love will always be a national problem in America. The Nation is after all barely five centuries old. All it takes, is for people to realize that love is not what Hollywood shows us, nor is it what professors tell us. Love is something that has no formula, (if it does no one knows it), no solution, and no definition. It is what binds us and drives us, it is what defines us as human beings. It is our purpose in life.

Lots of Love,

Sydmil E. Harris

The sky is falling, ain't no need to panic

I met a gypsy and she hipped me to some life game
To stimulate, then activate the left and right brain
Said baby boy you're only funky as your last cut
You focus on the past your ass'll be a has but
Thats one to live by
Or either that one to die to
I try to just throw it at you
Determine your own adventure
Andre,
Got to a station, here's my destination
She got off the bus,
The conversation lingered in my head for hours...

Ten times out of nine, now if I'm lying fine
The quickest muzzle throw it on my mouth and I'll decline
King meets queen, then the puppy love thing,
Together dream bout that crib with the goodyear swing
On the oak tree, I hope we feel like this forever
Forever, forever-ever, forever-ever?
Forever never seems that long until you're grown
And know this that the day by day ruler can't be too wrong
Ms. Jackson my intentions were good I wish I could
Become a magician to abacadabra off the sadder
Thoughts of me, thoughts of she, thoughts of he
Askin what happened to the feelin that her and me had,
I pray so much about it need some knee pads
It happened for a reason, one can't be mad
So know, just know, that everything is cool
And yes I will be present on the first day of school, and graduation

I love who you are I love who ya ain't you're so Ann Frank
Let's hit the attic to hide out for bout two weeks

Please Don't Shoot Me Down

Please don't shoot me down
Cause I'm flying
I'm higher


My perception is everything.
Perception is all that matters.
Perception matters most.
What you don't know won't hurt you.

Slippery Slope. This is where things start to get really tricky.

I have come to think that it is better to deal with reality no matter how unpleasant it is.
-Dennis Quad as President Staton on American Dreamz-

This one is real tricky. We'll start with the first one. "My perception is everything."

"My perception is everything"
It is. To you. It's a cold world. It really is. But if you don't want it to be it doesn't have to be. Let's say you see the world as a great place with great people. Then that's what it is. To you. You sort of decide for yourself. So anyone can be anything if you perceive them that way. Ok agreed.

"Perception is all that matters."
False. Completely. For awhile I thought this to be absolutely true. And I've got to say that it seems rational. Even you agree(d). But it's just not all that matters. Because perception easily skews truth. I tried to rewrite this paragraph many times over to make a "notsoclosetohome" allusion and failed miserably. Perception isn't all that matters because even if you think I'm the greatest, when I'm not the greatest it doesn't matter what you perceive me as. Then when I am at my all time best, just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean I'm not here. Perception is not all that matters. At all. No conclusion here. A lot of varying thoughts, but no conclusion. Maybe another day.

"Perception matters most."
I'm still in between on this one. Because as you perceive is as it is. Sort of. If you think I'm great, it doesn't matter what I do. I'm great. Well I guess it matters what I do, but you know, just don't do THAT. And I'm great. But then I'm not great. But maybe what you think of me and what I think of me is all that matters. No matter who you are. It's not all that matters, but if we both think I'm good then I'm good? Not cosmically though. Because that's absolute. And in that case, Perception doesn't matter at all. Next post though. Absolutes.

"What you don't know won't hurt you." "Ignorance is Bliss." Etc.
Well I get real confused here. I finally grew up to realize that everything matters. It all matters. Sometimes I live my life like I live my life...as if things are temporary. It's been a long time coming, but change came. I can see the big picture. I see what it's about. Long term. And it's not about me. It took a lot of maturing to realize it's not about me at all. Selfish sucks. Selfless rocks. I'd rather deal with reality. Really. In real life, things are not what they seem. Sometimes you don't even realize that life is what you make it. I've been every idealistic for the majority of my life. Up until a few years ago. And then it got cloudy. I mean I thought it was scattered showers, but it was more like overcast. Maybe if all you see is overcast you forget it's overcast though. Anyway, sometimes the clouds clear to see that while the sun shines bright, it's actual surface is full of burning craters and blemishes. Just keep looking at those from a distance for as long as you can though. Until global warming catches up to us all. What you don't know hurts. Because it's still there. If you don't know you're wrong, you're still wrong. One day recently I learned that just because you don't know you're sinning, doesn't mean you're still not sinning. But if you know the difference God holds you more accountable.

Does it take Action or Intention or Both to Sin? Ponder on that. I know the answer.

But think twice, that's my only advice

I remember when,
I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space

And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Possibly

And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice,
That's my only advice
Come on now, who do you,
Who do you, who do you, who do you think you are
Ha ha ha, bless your soul
You really think you're in control

Well, I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me

My heroes had the heart
To lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember
Is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little,
Ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done

Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably

...them same wrongs helped me write this song

Epiphany: E-P-I-P-H-A-N-Y. Definition one, The manifestation of a supernatural being. Definition two, a sudden moment of insight or revelation. Marinate on that though.

-T-Pain-

First off, I really like gaining insight from very unexpected sources. People are full of all types of wisdom if you can just filter it from the rest of the crap they're spewing.

I've been meaning to make this post along my stream of consciousness series for a while. So back on task. I was driving home from the JO the other week and I was riding around with no music trying to think about life. Sometimes you need to be able to hear yourself think. Alot of things I already knew and I already had formulated opinions on, but I just took some time to be real clear with myself about everything.

I was riding home and realized that I didn't know how to get home because it was my first day of work. Where I went at the beginning of the day and where I was leaving from were not the same so I had scoped out the area during lunch so I could have an idea of how to get home. Needless to say come punch out time I didn't remember how to get home. I couldn't remember right or left at a certain light so I went left. I needed to go right. So I said I'll just turn around at the next intersection, but I couldn't get over. So I took another left and drove on the next road over that should've paralleled with the highway I needed to ride home. I told myself I'd just take a left to get to the highway at the next intersection. The next intersection never came and the road got farther and farther off course. So I said at the next main road I'd just take it and go back towards the highway since I was too far down the road to turn around. I'd just find an alternate path. I missed that road too. So I said I'll ride this a little while longer and maybe I'll hit a main road. It didn't happen. I turned off just right before I was gonna get to the next highway. I saw it as I turned but I saw it in my rear view. So I went back to the last main road and rode it for a long time. It wasn't hitting the highway. By now I'd lost my original path and the thought of driving until I got to where I could take another route even if it was longer and contrary to how I needed to get home. So I finally think to flip out the SK and Google where I'm at and how to get home. This is 45 mins later. I've been so far off path I've wasted 45 mins of my life and gas. I still had the music playing at this point. When I thought to finally look it up is when I cut off the music. And that's when everything hit me. That's also when I found the path home. I found the right path. Long after I got off path. It was a really long drive from there. When I finally decided to ask for help. When I stopped trying to fix things on my own. That's when it hit me. That's the problem. Everyone gets off path at some point in their drive. You have to know when to ask for help. You have to know when to turn around. Now if you're here on this page you probably know me. You probably know my life. You probably know that I've been dealing with some stuff. You probably know that I'm working on alot of things internally. You probably know that while this is a real story, this IS NOT about driving.

In the hour it took me to get home I fine tuned alot of my thoughts. Here goes my stream of consciousness.

Traffic related lessons first.

If you get off path. Turn around. You know the way back. Men have a habit of never asking for directions. I thought that was a stereotype, but it has some truth to it. There's nothing wrong with asking for directions back if you do get that far off path. The easiest thing to do is to turn around while you still know the way back. Before you get way off path. It saves on gas and time. And we all know what gas prices are hitting for these days.

Watch for warning signs. The thing about warning signs is that they are just that...warning signs. They are signs that say warning. They are warning you of something and when something warns you about something, then that something is bad. If you see a red flag, it means warning. Warning signs say warning too. It's literal. Heed the warning signs.

Always check your blind spot. Before you move into the fast lane, check your blind spot. You feel like you have the overall picture, but the blind spot is called that because you can't see it. You might get into a major accident of you don't check your blind spot. Because you could easily run into the end of your life just like that. Take it for what it's worth.

Check your mirrors, but always look ahead. You should always check your mirrors. Be aware of what's going on around you. Know what's behind you, but always keep moving forward. If you take your eyes off the forward road you'll crash though, so you have to learn how to do both. If you need to go backwards in order to move forwards, then don't just use the mirrors, turn around, do what you need to do, look sideways, check your blind spot and then go forward. You've got to understand that.

"Sure I trust your driving, but I don't trust the other cars on the road." Good statement. Usually also said to someone who you don't trust on the road. Well at some point you have to let that person drive and understand that you can't control the other people on the road, but you can make sure that as long as you trust their driving that's all you'll ever be able to do. Sometimes you just have to make sure they're prepared enough and let them get out there on the open road.

Understand I'm not talking about traffic. See my growth here.

Learning lessons the hard way is so stupid. Look at the phrase. Learning lessons the HARD way.

He wants you to share your story with others. Sharing your testimony is an essential part of your mission on earth because it is unique...If you don't share it, it will be lost forever...Actually, your personal testimony is more effective than a sermon...Shared stories build a relational bridge that Jesus can walk across from your heart to theirs...Many people who won't accept the authority of the Bible will listen to a humble, personal story.

God teach me lessons for living so that I can stay the course...WHILE IT IS WISE TO LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE, IT IS WISER TO LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCES OF OTHERS...Write down the major life lessons you have learned so you can share them with others...Mature people develop the habit of extracting lessons from everyday experiences. I urge you to make a list of your life lessons. You haven't really thought about them unless you have written them down.

So I finally read and finished a Purpose Driven Life and I've got to say it's great. You really do have to read it when you're ready and it'll work wonders for your life.

Other lessons I thought about on that long quiet ride. I imparted these to my sisters if they sound like I'm giving a lecture.

1. Impart your knowledge. I've learned so much lately. I've been listening and hearing everything. I guess I'd call it actualizing. There's so much in life that we could learn from each other if we'd just share it. Everyone is so caught up on image and pride that often we have secrets and stuff we'll never speak on that could do wonders for the next generation. Believe me I know. Teach someone else from what you know. You might change their life for the better.
2. Learn from other people's mistakes. If you see someone struggle through something, watch and learn. even if you don't see it, alot of life's lessons don't have to be learned from direct experience. Understand that people with more experience usually know what they're talking about.
3. Take your time. Relax. Patience is a virtue. That's one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn. Especially in high school. Just relax. Be patient. It's hard. So much harder than you'd ever imagine. A teacher once told me in detention that it's in Proverbs that all things come to an end on earth. No matter what. No matter how bad times are, they will come to an end. So be patient.
4. Think first, speak/act second. Not much needs to be said on that. It's wise. Wise people downplay their own knowledge; fools speak forth their stupidity openly. (Proverbs 12:23)
5. Don't judge. This is sort of too big of a topic for me to tackle briefly. But who are you to judge. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. (John 8:7) Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? (Matthew 7:3) "You never know what a man is going through until you have walked in his shoes."
6. In adult life, I'm sorry basically = please forgive me. It's important that you say all your please and thank you's and I'm sorry's, but it's better to live your life not needing to. You're going to have to live with your regrets. So try not to have any.
7. Nothing fixes itself. Really. I thought the gas on my tires were low. My car needs to be washed. I'd like to get back to a former state of physical fitness. I want my girl back. Nothing fixes itself. If it's out of your control, then there's nothing you can do, but do what you can. Nothing is going to just work itself out. It doesn't work with the economy. It doesn't work with you.
8. Stay on your P's and Q's. Having an awareness of your situation and surroundings is important. On the road. As a point guard. In social settings. Keep your head on a swivel.
9. Don't step out of pocket. Basically stay within yourself. You character. Your fundamentals. If you're ever tempted to go against your fundamentals you should have dissonance. If you don't have dissonance then you're so far gone already. Even Michael Vick learned the hard way you can't step outta pocket.
10. Put God first and everything else will fall into place. He may not come when you want Him, but He'll be there right on time. He'll never put more on you than you can bear. I know they're all cliches, but cliches are cliches for a reason.
11. In general if you have a firm understanding of the English Language, there's nothing wrong with making up words. People will run with you if you have enough confidence in what you're saying anyway. They say it aint tricking if you got it. -Walt Disney- At some point though, faking it till you make it is not really a good idea.
12. Don't be petty, but show that you don't not care. See even double negatives are useful sometimes.
13. It's NEVER too late to change.

More another day.

BONUS!!!

Anthony David - Acey Duecey

It's been a long time coming for maturity
And that's truly what it has to be

High is High, Low is Low

High is High, Low is low
Everybody wanna go to heaven, but nobody wants to die
Nobody wants to die
Nobody wants to
Do the dont's, Don't the did's
To color outside the lines
And nobody wants to try
Nobody wants to try
Nobody wants to

It's bound to stop
Or ease at least
I can breath at least
My brain release
Pain relief
Its the same belief
That makes it sane to chief
and insane to sniff
so obtain a spliff...
Trade your grief for these magic beans
Climb the stalk
Ride the clouds
Surf the waves
Unearth the cage
Expose your soul
Never close your soul
Slow your role
Never overload your soul
Hold your goals
Never lose sight of those
I suppose We can all float away
As it goes
We can all know the way
If we prose
We can all show the way
No one knows
We can all go today
If we chose
We can all roll away

Until you're truly ready to say F___ YOUR FEAR
You are not alive
You don't have to settle and be stuck right here
You can let me drive
Come and ride the roller-coaster
Give all the troubles of the world to me
At least come and see, come see the other side
This may be the way you want the world to be

I can tell you

Thinking outrageously I write in cursive

I hide in my bed with the lights on the floor

Wearing three layers of coats and leg warmers

I see my own breath on the face of the door

Oh I am not quite sleeping

Oh I am fast in bed

There on the wall in the bedroom creeping

I see a wasp with her wings outstretched

North of Savanna we swim in the palisades

I come out wearing my brother's red hat

There on [her] shoulder my best friend is bit seven times

[S]he runs washing his face in his hands

Oh how I meant to tease [her]

Oh how I meant no harm

Touching [her] back with my hand I kiss [her]

I see the wasp on the length of my arm

Oh great sights upon this state! Halleluah

Wonders bright, and rivers, lake. Halleluah

Trail of Tears and Horseshoe Lake. Halleluah

Trusting things beyond mistake. Halleluah

(We were in love, we were in love)

(Palisades palisades palisades)

I can wait, I can wait

[Lamb of God, we sound the horn. Hallelujah!

To us your ghost is born. Halleluah]

I can't explain the state that I'm in

The state of my heart, [s]he was my best friend

Into the car, from the back seat

Oh admiration in falling asleep

All of my powers, day after day

I can tell you, we swaggered and swayed

Deep in the tower, the prairies below

I can tell you, the telling gets old

Terrible sting and terrible storm

I can tell you the day we were born

My friend is gone, [s]he ran away

I can tell you, I love [her] each day

Though we have sparred, wrestled and raged

I can tell you I love [her] each day

Terrible sting and terrible storm

I can tell you...