Can't keep running away

Man the internet is a monster,
Excuse my flow, its my stream of conscioussss
I keep veering off on topics
It's just because ya'll my favorite people to talk with
-Murs- "Murs Inatra"

Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not
Baby, when I know you're only sorry you got caught

I hate that song. Really, but I've been ready to speak on it for a good while and I knew today was going to be the day, but then I happened to have a conversation that solidified it even more immediately pre-blogging.

I've heard about the 11th commandment being "Thou shalt not get caught" for a lot of people. And it's true. People live there lives this way. I think a true sign of maturity is to stop running.

We've all known someone who runs from their problems. Either subverts them or outright runs. You switch high schools, you leave your college, you move cities, whatever you need to do. The older you get the more it happens. Hell, anyone could really say I'm one of those people. But only if you really boogie with me will you know that I completely understand that "I guess knowing when I'm weak is when I'm really being strong." I don't know anyone who hasn't hit a point where they need a clean slate, and if they haven't gotten there yet, then God bless them. But you can't shake your past. You can't juke the mirror and you can't lose your shadow. It's always your past. Ironically it's called your past, but sometimes it feels impossible to get past it. Regardless, I've hit a point where I don't try to run. Which is a lot harder than it sounds depending on where you're coming from. Not everyone has to face their indiscretions everyday. But you reap what you sow. And you can't really get to your blessings without giving your whole testimony. Not your half testimony, but your whole testimony. That's what they tell me anyway. You can't be held accountable if noone knows where you're coming from. Because you can easily slip back into the things that held you down if noone knows what you've been dealing with. So I've decided it's just a part of my life that you know where I'm coming from. And you probably know where I'm coming from. So since you know that, you can hold me accountable. So you reap what you sow, then I'm sowing accountability, honesty and humility. We'll see what I reap. If nothing else, virtue is it's own reward. Funny thing is people run from everything. Well it's not funny, it's true. You can see it in your politics with cover ups everyday. You can see it in your goverment. You can see it in history. So it's got to be fairly difficult to really submit and hold yourself accountable. Virtue is not as easy as it seems and standing up to deal with everything is not as easy as it sounds. But it has to be done. Sometimes you can show people better than you can tell them.


No act will ever be free of consequence,
It don't cost a dime for you to use your common sense
-Murs- "Free"

Can't keep runnin away.....

I must admit on some occasions I went out like a punk and a chump
Or a sucka or something to that effect
Respect I used to never get
Cause all I got was upset
When n's use to be like "whats up fool!" and tried to sweat
A n' like the Lip for no reason at all
I can recall crip n' throwin c's in my face
Down the hall, I'm kickin it in the back of the school eating chicken at three
Wondering why is everybody always picking on me
I tried to talk and tell them chill I did nothing to deserve this
But when it didn't work I wasn't scared just real nervous
And unprepared to deal with scrapping no doubt
Cause my pappy never told me how to knock a n' out
But now in 95 I must survive as a man on my own
F around with Fatlip yes ya get blown
I'm not trying to show no macho, it's shown
But when its on, when its on, then its on

Can't keep runnin away...

There comes a time in every man's life when hes gotta handle s' up on his own
Can't depend on friends to help you in a squeeze,
Please, they got problems of their own
Down for the count, on seven chickens s' don't get to heaven til they faced these fears in these fear zones
Used to get jacked back up in high school
I played it cool just so some real s' wont get full blown
Being where I'm from
They let the smoke come quicker
Than an evil red-neck could lynch a helpless colored figure and

As a victim, I invented low-key
Until the keyhole itself got lower than me .
So I stood up and let my free-form form free.
Said I'm gonna get some before they knocking out me.
I don't sweat it I let the bulls' blow in the breeze
In other words just freeze

Can't keep runnin away...

Its 1995, now that I'm older
Stress weighs on my shoulders
Heavy as boulders
But I told ya
Till the day that I die I still
will be a soldier
Thats all I told ya
And thats all I showed ya
And all this calamity is ripping my sanity
Can it be Im a celebrity
Whose on the brink of insanity
Now don't be wishing of switching any positions with me
Cause when you in my position, it aint never easy
To do any type of maintaining
Cause all this gaming and faming from
Entertaining is hella straining to the brain and...
But I cant keep runnin I just gotta keep keen and cunning...


Can't keep runnin' away...