Everyday is a new 24...

Well hmmm. After posting on restoration this came to me. By now we should know I'm big on basketball and stuff in my everyday life. Apparently even in my allusions in posts. I used to listen to this song alot and I find myself listening to it lately. I thought it would be a great one to share mainly because you probably haven't heard it, but you need to. Listen to it to enjoy it in it's entirety. It's a good way to start your day. Superb parallels.

Phanatik - Shot Clock (Brand New Day)

Yes Sir, (Incoherent blurb)
If you can hear through Hip-hop then hear this.
Here it is, fresh off the presses.
Here to lift souls and clear all depression.
'Cause I know what it's like
When the sun's all shining but your soul feels night.
Feels like you're caught under gloom's dark presence
With a little light shining like the moon's sharp crescent.
How many days gone by
When I said I was gon' win and I ain't even try?
I wake up at half court;
The day is half gone; time left on the board is mad short.
Rushing my shots, I hurry out the door.
I don't pray, I don't take my worries to the Lord.
How much time does it take to run the floor?
Get the stop watch. Or maybe I should stop and watch the Lord.
Everyday is a new 24 on the shot clock,
Either get your shot blocked or score.

[Chorus]
Brand new day
With each new day that's dawnin'
Every time night turns to morning

Grace is new, Mercy is new, what you gone do with it
If life is a game that you can never play in again
Would you stay in your sin or start trainin' aimin' to win?

[Verse Two]
I'm so down in points, at this point, I'll take brownie points.
Especially with the people I love;
I wish I could win or at least take the lead by a hug.
Sometimes when I'm leavin' I shrug.
Hoping they feel me like really E.Q.'d up subs.
I hope they know that I'm doing a good thing,
That's the reason I'm not around as much as I could be.
And when I'm around I'm often drained,
But I don't want relationships getting lost and strained.
I'm always telling myself
Don't have your lights out, be a lighthouse for someone else.
I could do more before I hit the floor.
Let me cop a squat, put in some quality time for sure.
Cause everyday is a new 24 on the shot clock,
Either get your shot blocked or score.

[Chorus]
Brand new day
With each new day that's dawnin'
Every time night turns to morning

Grace is new, Mercy is new, what you gone do with it
If life is a game that you can never play in again
Would you stay in your sin or start trainin' aimin' to win?

[Verse Three]
I love the way the Lord taught the church.
He had a simple game plan when He walked on earth;
A balance between doing, and being with the people He loved
And spending time with The Father above.
If I could master the art of the latter part
I could keep from having to march back to start.
There's so many things to do,
And this brings me to my chief need, which is to cling to you.
Maslow's hierarchy listed the priority
Of the order of the things that we need and I guess it varies
From the need to feed and to find love and to seek
To succeed, but he missed the one thing that necessary.
The Lord's standing at the door
Of your heart, knocking; unlock it. Watch, He's got a lot in store.
Today is a new 24, on your shot clock
Will you get your shot blocked or score?

Fall down 7, Stand up 8

Continuing in our stream of consciousness series...

Today's Topic: Restoration

Bringing back to a former or original condition. In this manual the term restoration is meant to include rehabilitation; The act of putting something back to a prior condition; Bringing back to an original state; To restore or make new again. More aggressive than conservation, restoration implies recreating what has been lost.

Now I had no intention of gracing this topic at all. At least not until I got through the backlog of ideas I had written down, but sometimes you've got to go with the flow. When you hear it you've got to listen and I'm all ears lately. So I go back to my old church for the first time to be a member again and there's a brand new "Young Men's" Class during Sunday School that my sister tells me about. I explain to her that I'm a man and I'll go to the Men's class as I have in the past. So I get to class early. One of the elderly fellows says it's nice to see me again and the usual chatter and then he says well right over there they have this new class for 18-35 year olds. This is too much back story. I'm not keeping a diary here. Strictly the highlights. Anyway I go to the new class and we have to choose a name by June because it's new and Young Men's Class isn't going to cut it. My cousin suggests Blessed and Highly Favored. I told him I like the ring to it and the teacher concurred. Ha. So we get to the lesson. I don't know the scriptures because it mainly comes from off top. Restoration.

There's 2 things I believe in. One of them is that there is forgiveness. That's important because the only way we ever have a chance at salvation is through forgiveness. The other thing is restoration. What is restoration? ("To restore.") I don't want to hear the word used to define itself. ("Well you know, going back to what you used to be.") Exactly. Restoration is returning back to a previous state. Restoration involves restoring and renewing.

Now if you know me you know at that point I was like come onnnnn, on my first day back. Cause messages aren't supposed to be aimed directly at you. Not blatantly what you need to hear. I listened. Absorbed. And here's where I stand.

It's exciting. And I like it. There is no hope for anything without restoration. The greatest arts we have wouldn't exist. The ruins. Ancient portraits. Sculptures. The Sistine Chapel. Anything not brand spanking new and in pristine condition weathers away and dies without restoration. If you don't wash your $600 1992 Chevy Caprice Classic or change the oil and all that other upkeep that bad boy won't ever shine like the heavens and breaks down on you midway between Alexandria and Lafayette. Then you have to leave it at a rest stop. But do you leave it there. No. You have to get it fixed. You put the money into it. And the time. And the parts. And sooner or later you're going to be riding around with a round bottom slab going 2 miles per hour so everybody sees you. Or you don't fix it. Then when your $500 1989 Ford Taurus doesn't want to go 80 mph up Beltway 8 you just charge it to the game, chalk up the L and keep it trucking. I don't know about you, but I prefer the former to the latter. The thing about it is that nothing fixes itself. Problems do not solve themselves. If you are seeking a solution to a problem, you have to seek the solution. Like the Bishop said today, when you're playing hide and seek you have to actively seek who you're looking for. It applies to life. Think about it. So you do something wrong. How do you right your wrongs? By correcting them. Whatever you did you don't do it again. You figure out what you did wrong and fix it. Same thing with math problems. Retests. Now the concept behind restoration is getting back to something. Lets say you had everything figured out. When you were at your highest of highs. Now you're not there. You want to get back there. What do you have to do. Actively seek your route back to glory. Now from a religious standpoint, which sparked this thought process, I've got the seeking Him thing down. Simple. Pray and read your Bible. Listen to Him. To listen you have to meditate and constantly seek understanding. All the stuff I've always known, but just so happen to get refreshed with when I need it. Now in other matters, I do not have the answers. I don't know how to restore something when it's gone. Restoring oneself I've got down. When there's other parties involved it gets tricky. But hey, archaeologists restored Pompeii and it was completely buried in volcanic ash and soot for many, many centuries. So it's more than possible to restore things no matter how far gone you think it is. You have to really want it. To forgive, to renew and to restore; all similar and intertwined, but all so very different and complex. Anyway, originally I was supposed to be blogging to get my thoughts down and maybe it's help me understand them more clearly and I think it's working. LETSGETIT, Restoration.

[Andre 3000]
Ahhh, such sweet sound.
The Fiddler on the F___in' Roof.
Is that Mr. Bentley Fonzworth?

[Fonzworth Bentley]
Indeed it is, Sir.

[Andre 3000]
Good day, good sir.
How do you do? Look fine.

[Fonzworth Bentley]
Fantastically well.
I am certainly not fine by far, but you could say I'm close to spectacular.

[Andre 3000]
Close to spectacular? How so?

[Fonzworth Bentley]
Open your eyes.
Spectacular's right in front of you.

[Andre 3000]
Whatever you say... you're spectacular.

[Fonzworth Bentley]
No, I'm fantastically well.

[Andre 3000]
Come on, man. Make up your mind.
A minute ago you said you were fine.

[Fonzworth Bentley]
No. I said I'm close to spectacular, but I'm meeting fine in a minute.

[Andre 3000]
Close to spectacular?
You said you were fantastically well.

[Fonzworth Bentley]
Exactly.

[Andre 3000]
Exactly? Which one are you?
Close to spectacular? Or fantastically well?

[Fonzworth Bentley]
I am certainly and without a doubt fantastically well...
and was close to spectacular, but I must say
You just pissed spectacular off. And don't even mention exactly...
But here comes fine right now.

[Andre 3000]
Oh Lord, she is fine.

[Woman] Gentlemen.

[Fonzworth Bentley] Behold...

[together] A lady.

So far ahead of his time it's ridiculous.

100 miles and running

Congratulations to all my people that graduated.

IV, Dudley, GP, Ross, S Dot, RRRaaa, Killa, B Ray in particular. Nothing mushy here, but I'm proud to call you my people. On the other end of the spectrum Chaston, Roberta, Raina you get the same. Regardless of anything else.

Backtrack on some stuff you've been needing in your life.





KANYE SAVES THE WORLD. from Bobby Hundreds on Vimeo.

Dj Finnesse - The Official Best of Mariah Carey
Dj Smallz - Smokin Instumentals Vol 6.
A Tribe Called Quest - Beats Rhymes and Life (The Samples)
Bernard Freeman - II Trill
Boss Hogg Outlawz - Headed 2 Da Kappa 2k8
Playaz Circle - Supply and Demand Pt. 2
Shante Franklin - Welcom to the Winner's Circle
Jayson Phillips and David Styles - Kings of Coke (2008)
Andre Lauren Benjamin - Alter Ego the Mixtape (2008)
Sean Carter - The Greatest to Ever Do It (2008)
DJ Keyz and Jayson Phillips - Al Qaeda Jada - Full Metal Jacket
Brad Terrence Jordan - The Best of Scarface (2008)
Joe Budden - The Lost Sessions (2008)

Great Googly Moogly if you like music here is a link to all the samples used for Jay-Z's entire discography.

http://hiphopisread.blogspot.com/2008/05/jay-z-complete-sample-discography.html

I'll come and get right, right in your city

I've had a slew of topics that I've been meaning to address over the past few fortnights. When they come to me I try to write them down so that I can blog about them and present you with my point of view. Even if you don't respond at least you can think about it and form your own point of view on the matter. So the next series of posts will just be my thoughts on some topics as of late in a stream of consciousness style presentation. Prepare yourself accordingly. Some of this stuff might form itself more fully as I type.

Today's topic: Synergy

The interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects.

"I'm a movement by myself, but we're a force when we're together."


I recall watching a Houston Rockets game during their groundbreaking run to 22 straight victories. Their was a blurb that came accross the screen about synergy. It stuck out because if you looked at the roster, the Rockets look like a B-team. Yet, they were winning at an alarming rate and on their way to record breaking success. I think it might have been win 19 or 21 when they showed the synergy definition. I can't find the screenshot. But if you saw it you know what I'm talking about. Synergy is when the combination of people/companies/drugs/what have you join forces to cause more good/productivity/a greater high/what have you than they are capable of apart. That's not just me talking, that's the actual definition. It applies to everything. It is hard to acquire. It's the stuff mergers are based on. It's why AT&T joins with Cingular. It's Penn and Teller. It's Sigfried and Roy. No homo. It's Obama and Clinton? Wishful thinking. It's acquirng Luis Scola and Aaron Brooks and Bobby Jackson and Rafer Alston and Shane Battier and Dikembe Mutumbo to support Yao and T Mac. That's a terrible supporting cast. That won 22 straight. 10 post Yao injury. It's Big Boi and Andre 3000. 8 ball and MJG. Pimp C and Bun B. It's me and you...your mama and your cousin too. It's your broken parts and my broken parts fitting together like a puzzle. It's when you're not strong enough and I'm your shoulder to lean on. It's when this world is too much to bear ( that bear/bare thing is so much more confusing now) and there's that other person lifting the weight up off of your shoulders and suddenly it's not only bearable, it's only half as heavy. I think marraige is human synergy. Not that Vegas Dennis Rodman/Carmen Electra business. Partnerships are human synergy. I'm talking about when I got the communications part and you got the finance part and he has the science of it worked out and he has the know how. When we came in together and we all got something different out of it and we sit down and talk it out and everyone comes out better. Great Debators. When my perspective and your perspective give us the panoramic view. And we're seeing things we never would have seen before. Touch what I've never touched before, seen what I've never seen before, woke up and seen the sun sky high. When your Gmail tops my Yahoo, but my Pandora trumps your Imeem. When you understand the numbers side, but I understand the people side. Mind you, I'm sort of flip flopping topics and ideas and people and categories, that's not the point. You want to know the point? One of the last sermons I heard in Austin before I left "indefinitely" was about being alone. The message was, "It is not meant for man to be alone." It wasn't even based on all the traditional senses. Yes, they graced the topic that Adam wasn't made to be alone, thats why God delivered Eve, but it was more than that. You're not meant to go through things in this life alone. There's a saying, "I was born alone and I'm going to die alone." But boy is that not true. You were born in a room full of doctors. Your dad or someone playing that role for the time might have been there. But even if you didn't have any of those people, you were born with your mother. There was always someone there. Because you can not make it on your own. You're not meant to. Its unnatural. It is not meant for man to be alone. It's the idea of family. The concept of friends. The reason for team players being more highly valued than individuals. The concept behind Diversity. The reason T-Mac can't get out the first round. You can't do it by yourself homie. You're a shell of your former self. It's Kobe and Shaq. D Wade and Shaq. It's Ernie, Kenny and Charles. It's very easy to get caught up in this world we live in, especially in America, where it's pumped into your brain that you are the most important being breathing. It's about you. Being self-centered and self-taught and self-oriented and selfish are all valued. Ahhh, but this post is about synergy. Which defies the idea of self. That self-dependence inherently produces less than a combination of forces. Mind you, I'm not telling you to depend on others, but simply to understand that the capitalistic ideology we were raised in isn't teaching us about the greatest good for the greatest number. And I'm well aware of the ethical implications of that last statement, so we'll just take it in its simplest form for now. Synergy is not easy to achieve. There's the problem of groupthink and then there can be deadweight or there could be a party that is actually holding the other party back. Those are all barriers to overcome. True synergy is hard to achieve and if found should not be taken for granted. Synergy is like magic. Man is not meant to be alone.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.

Other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life

When I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord, "You promised me, Lord,

That if I followed you, you would walk with me always.

But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life

There have only been one set of prints in the sand.

Why, When I have needed you most, you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints

Is when I carried you."

So I know you may very well be thinking that I just quoted "Footprints in the Sand" and that that's not synergy, that's faith and dependence. Well, for one, that's a topic for another day. For two, according to "The Purpose Driven Life"...

God deeply loves you and desires your love in return...

He takes pleasure in those that honor Him; in those who trust in His constant love." Psalms 147:11

If He's getting something out of my faith and worship and I'm getting everything I'm getting, that's as good as it gets folk. I won't even pretend like it's synergy, but you needed that quote just as much as I did. LETSGETIT, synergy.

All I do

Citations for my last post. Here goes. In order of appearance.

Blockquotes - http://the-thirteenth-floor.blogspot.com
Title of this post - Stevie Wonder - All I Do
Title for last post - Kanye West - Bittersweet Poetry

Common - Faithful
Common - The Light
Little Brother - Whatever You Say
Bobby Caldwell - What You Won't Do For Love
The Dream - Shorty is a Ten
J Holiday/Trey Songz - Bed (Remix)
Will Smith - Chasing Forever
Raphael Saadiq/D' Angelo - You Should Be Here
Soulja Boy - Soulja Girl
Lauryn Hill/D' Angelo - Nothing Even Matters
Lauryn Hill - Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You
Pharell and the Yessirs/Snoop Dogg/Charlie Wilson- That Girl
Pharell/Jay-Z - Frontin'
Pharell/Kanye West - Number One
Mariah Carey - Fourth of July
Lupe Fiasco - Paris/Tokyo
Lupe Fiasco - Go Baby
Blu and Exile - First Things First
Bobby Caldwell - My Flame
T-Pain - Time Machine
Mariah Carey/Freeway/Jay-Z - You Got Me
Notorious B.I.G. - Juicy
Outkast/Big Rube - 13th Floor ( Growing Old)
Andre 3000 - Pink and Blue
Common - So Far To Go (Original)
D' Angelo - You're My Lady
Bobby Valentino - Gangster Love
Sam Cooke - Change Is Gonna Come
James Morrison - You Give Me Something
Aaliyah - One In A Million
Lupe Fiasco - Much More
Ginuwine - I'll Do Anything
Lupe Fiasco - Glory
UGK/Outkast - International Players' Anthem
Chris Brown - You
Etta James - Damn Your Eyes
Juelz Santana/The Diplomats - Who Am I?
Camron/Tiffany - Daydreaming
R. Kelly - Just Like That
Little Brother - When Everything is New

Now that's some bittersweet poetry.

Bittersweet Poetry

I want to be there for you when you're at your absolute worst. When things are the worst for you. When you're at your lowest point; but I can't be. I can't be strong for you. You have to do it by yourself. And that hurts.

I was rolling around, in my mind it occured. What if God was a her? Would I treat her the same? Would I still be running game...on her? Would I want her for her mind or her heavenly body? Could I be out running game on someone so Godly? If I was with her would I still be wanting my ex? The lies, the greed, the weed, the sex. Ride with her because I know for me, she'd die. Through good and bad call on her like I'm chirping her. Couldn't be jealous cause other brothers worship her. And this was a test that was bigger than him. Some believe it's the nature that is given to men. She asked, "Why do men always have to stray?" It's hard when your lady don't believe what you say. And what you did in the past, you have to live with today.

Gotta be something for me to write this. I know your heart is weathered by what life did to you. I'm not gonna front, cause I did it too. At times when I'm lost I try to find you.

Are you listening now? Did I get your attention undivided? Because you used to be undecided. That's alright girl, whatever you say. I used to play the background. You know clean cut, soft spoken, well dressed, dipped out, straight chilling when I'm in the club, yo. Sipping on a sprite with the ill lemon mixed in it, sippin on it I was just chilling til' I saw you. That when my heart stopped; knees gave; head sweating; jaws locked; I was sweating you like gaw dang girl. You got a n' going buckwild, mesmerized, starstruck.

I came back to let you know. I've got a thing for you and I can't LET GO. My friends wonder what is wrong with me. But I'm in a daze from your love you see. I came back to let you know, I've got a thing for you and I can't let go. Some people go around the world for love, but they may never find what they dream of. What you won't do for love? When you've tried everything but you don't give up. In my world only you made me do for love what I would not do.

And I don't need no hook for this hit.

The sun aint the only thing that's shining...but it's peaking through the venetian blinds. I've got a question. I mean real bad girl, I'm talking rougher than rough. Do you think it'd be enough if we just had us? Don't answer quick, think about it, cause I'm asking for real. We could deal with whatever together? Sunshine or that other weather? A buckwild endeavor it seems. Am I pursuing something real or just chasing a dream? Now as a man, there's certain things I'm lacking for sure, but I'm commited to growing and coming at you mature. And in the future, I know it aint gonna be all good, but when we're feeling the hurt if we're willing to work the 8 ball will never turn and see us behind. Oh I aint no knight and my armor don't shine. Now you would think after all my heartbreak I'd be cruel; hiding behind my ego; evil. I don't have a good end to that segment.

You should be here with me. Girl, I wish you were here. You calling me. Me calling you. But nothing even matters at all. Your love makes me feel ten feet tall. Without it I go through withdrawals. You're part of my identity. Sometimes I have a tendency to look at you religiously cause nothing even matters to me. Nothing even matters no more. You're just to good to be true. There are no words left to speak. You're just to good to be true.

There's something about this girl...But when I finally found the words to say...it just won't stay. You can lie to yourself and say that it isn't. It hurts when it comes to your attention. Yes sir. That's her. But it wasn't like that back when I met her. Your friends don't like n's like me. You say no like you've been doing it for eons. When it rains, it pours. I guess I played games. I'm not trying to justify. I'm in trouble, ma, and I should pray about speed. But if this is about you, what's that say about me? It's really weird cause a n' got love. Now it is what it is. And it WAS not was. But when I finally found the words to say, you want to run away. You can try to run and hide, it won't make a difference. Sure it hurt when it came to your attention. I know that I'm carryng on. I call you for real because you're the truth. Truth be told, you through me for a loop, this Joe. I'm too old to be fronting what I'm feeling. Denzeling.

Yesterday I was half the man you see. That's because you're the other half of me. You deserve a verse from me. Fourth of July. That's when I heard murder. I'm killing you and filling you with sorrow. Sunrise, goodbye's and missing you tomorrow's. I turn and see my dream, love supreme, meanest thing on the scene cry. The dame who's the username to all my passwords. So let's keep it real. I know it's like war to you. I revoked my membership. Even when its up and down like seesaw, surely we can start from scracth like D4 when you say you're not my baby like Maury. We're as heavy as an elephant aren't we?

There's so many ways I could approach you. I'll be honest with you. I aint into playing games. I rock fitted caps. I eat red meat cause tofu don't move me. I'm trying to get next to you. You're shooting down fools. So tell me what the f___ I'm supposed to do? Tell me what I'm supposed to do. Let me know what I'm supposed to do. I could probably make you laugh when you're in a bad mood. I would give you my digits but your phone's not accepting my phone calls.

How long, How long have you been away. How long? I can't find the words to say. I've got your picture on my shelf. Only there to remind myself. I have always cared for you. Do you still love me? Oh, my flame. I still hold your vision in my mind. Will I ever make you see? Maybe we can compromise? I'm going back to a time when I know everything was straighter. I don't need no clothes, I'll go in just what I'm wearing. Matter of fact I'll just go back to what I used to wear then. I can dream. No matter how bad my life is, I still got love, no matter mad you were.

Silly fool. Long days nowhere to go. And no other slimmie will do. You're just like honey, so you got me like winnie the pooh. Let you chill with the crew. Only backwards will do. And you know how to roll. You're my dreamlover so I can't let go. Hell no. Don't know what to say and I don't know what to do. Cause you do something to me. There aint noone else. And I usually be on my s___. Harlem shaking these groupies off me quick. But this time it's diff. I never thought I'd hear that lyric like that. Maybe it was all a dream? Born sinner? The opposite of a winner? If you don't know now you know? You know very well who I am. Now I'm writing letters cause I miss you. Considered a fool. Super Nintendo, Nintendo, I couldn't picture this. And you loved to show me off of course. You know very well who I am.

Concieve true deception multiplied a million fold. The resident evil specialize in misconstruing. Fooling myself, clowning myself, playing you by not being myself. Recongnize this mind on the reality of horror known as mankind. The devil says the end is the beginning. My memories of yesterday. Told the truth to get what I want, but shot it with no shame. Something's got to change. Laughter and happiness comes from teardrops to rain. Like soap is to lather, we come clean. Some issues need to be addressed like envelopes I mean. Sores that were open wounds eventually turn to scabs. You're so-phisticated. And now I'm talking like a baby. Baby talk. Like ga ga and goo goo. Oh my my. That's just you. But now I've got so far to go. I want to get closer to you. Because you're my lady. And you've got that gangster love. I know it's too late, but a change had to come. It's been a long time coming, but a change is gonna come. Right now it's too hard living, but I'm afraid to die. They say go to the movies or go downtown, but I don't want to hang around. Then I go to my brother and I say, "Brother, help me please." And I get knocked down on my knees. Change will come. Yes it will.

Then it hits me again. You give me something that makes me scared alright. We should end up nothing. But I'm willing to give it a try. Please give me something. I've never bought you flowers cause I can't work out what they mean. I never thought that I'd love someone that's my dream. But it might be a second too late. The words that I could never say are gonna come out anyway. Your love is a one in a million. And much more is what we've got in store? Turn me inside out and make my heart speak. Personality and everything you do makes me love everything about you. I'll do anything, I'm sorry. I KNOW. But I can't make water into wine. But I can try. They're not there when you love me, hold me and take care. What we have is much more than they can see. You can plainly see the pain I campaign bout. So I get back into my stance.

Whereforth has my glory gone? I'm not sure, but I'll find it. My spirit is strained and I'm limited to change. The faces of the guilty where innocence is proclaimed are filthy. Truth is limitless in its range. If you drop a T and look at it in reverse it could HURT. What starts in clouded minds ends up in the rain. My mind's weary, all the adrenaline and the drain 'cause the wrecking ball is dissassembling things.

Relationship death is like cancer.

Makes no sense, I know crazy. No looking back. I'd rather see you smiling. I shouldn't have done it. I shoulda reconsidered. I did you dirty. Keep your heart. I know you're smart. But guess what. I can't breathe with no air. That is not a song lyric. I'm talking about you. You, you, you, you, you. But I know when you look at me, you see me with the "deer in the headlights" look. Damn my eyes. It's real. I've got to wake up just to know I was sleep. So now I live the life of a loner. My life consists of a big puzzle that's mixed up. S__ what, the s___ sucks. I need to find another road to follow. One that's new and strong not old and hollow. Listen to some old Aaliyah. This s__ is crazy. And a tear comes trembling down. You've never seen a man cry? Well you're witnessing now. This aint game from the heart, this is pain from the heart. This for you dame it came from the heart. I got to get it together I was falling off. "Mami I just want you to know, I'm in love with you so, if you wasn't here I'd be in love with your soul." But you told me I'm dead. So here I sit daydreaming and I'm thinking of you.

You wanna know how I feel? Just like that. Just like that. ^^^

Man I could be mad about a whole lot of s___, but at the end of the day I'm still here. Just know that I do not quit man, through whatever. Ever. I'm still here baby. Another morning, as the night fades away. Another warning not to waste all our days. I know it sounds like an ending. This is a beginning. The wheels keep spinning on a brand new thought. Goals reaarange. Your morals get flushed. Values get crushed and we no longer trust what got us here in the first place. For me it only takes one case. The verdicts been read. These words' been said. It's plenty of people left that's believing in them. That's why I can't do the s___ I used to do no more. Had to get back to me. Get back to mine. That's real words from a true heart.

You can take it as an old ending or a new start.