I have a list of things on my mind that I've wanted to talk about. A lot. They're all supposed to be addressed in order. Sometimes you can't go with conventional chronology and just have to let the spirit lead you.

When you realize its not about you, you're going to find a whole new life.

Contradiction.

I can't see them coming down my eyes.

Comprehensive.

Divided we fail.

Duplicity.

Anything is possible.

Extrasensory perception.

Just to name a few. But all of those are staying on the back burner for another day/week/month/never. Today's topic: I don't have a title for today's topic. Or a theme or anything. I just have my thoughts. Here goes.


Have you ever woken up and realized you're everything you never thought you'd be. (You may be able to see where this is going.) You wake up, or snap out of a nap, or nod your head at work and think to yourself, "How did I get here?"


I have.

I woke up and realized that I am not the same. I am not the person I thought I would be at this point in my life. You think about being a "grown up" when you're little and it looks a whole lot different than it does when you're "grown." Thank God they tell you the world is a certain way when you're young. (<--future blog post?) They say you can't have regrets because without the things that have happened to you and the decisions you've made you wouldn't be who you are today. Nah. I side with Sean Carter on this one. "In this life you've gotta learn to live with regrets." I can't even pretend that I'm ok with all the choices that have gotten me where I'm at now. The ends don't justify the means. (<--another blog post?) I wake up in my parent's home. I've always been the main opponent of moving back home when I finished school. So I didn't. I hate asking for handouts. So I didn't. I'm independent. So I do things my own way. Then you realize you're that guy who stuck around too long. You're THAT guy. You graduated before everyone you knew. You have no plan. You always have plans, but they're short-term. You managed to jump 20 pounds twice. You live in excess and have an extraordinary sense of pride. You look in the mirror and you're not who you were. You've changed. You're THAT guy. You see what's wrong and you see it's your fault. You've stolen, cheated, lied, coveted, and that's just off top. The 7 deadly sins sound more like a checklist. You work hard for nothing. You work less for little. "No health insurance, scared to get sick." -Rapper Big Pooh- You pride yourself on being a people person, yet don't talk to people. You've lost a lot of the personal touch. The one person you want to be able to see "it" will never be able to see "it" again. Not correctly. That's poor.

Then it hits you. You're me. And I'm not who I was. At all.

I've come along way. A really long way. I moved back to Houston. I live with my folks. It saves money. It's not bad. At all. I needed it. I have a family that loves me in a more personal way and reaches out to know me and tries beyond what I could ever ask for to be there for me in every way imaginable. I eat good. I sleep good. I can feel it. I don't have that weight. Not like I used to. I'm there for you. If you need it. Holler at me, but don't scream. No qualms. If my sisters need anything, I'm there in the blink of an eye. Like I always wanted to be. me and my brother are good like when we were knee high...to the tree high [Sonnier]. I was darn near 22 before I got a car. I always wanted one and to some its nothing, but to me it's everything. It's one of the countless blessings I can't thank God enough for everyday. In addition to breathing, walking, talking, etc. She lives 3 hours away, but I jump out there as frequently as I can. For one, the sheer monumental blessing of having the opportunity to have the honor and privilege to call her mine is a testament to how far I/we've come. The fact that skipping town is a mere post-work-weekend-warrior is another blessing in itself. Let's go. What more could I really ask for? "I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end." -James Taylor- What I don't have in the most superficial of categories are far outweighed in the areas that matter. I've got that feeling in my soul that lets me know what life is supposed to be like. I have a God that loves me unconditionally and has given me another chance at life in addition to a small fraction of wisdom that I can't say I ever thought I'd have at 23. I've got a renewed faith. Boy if you know that feeling, you feel me. I have guidance from everywhere. I have a peace in my soul that trumps the discord in my pocket. I have a family that I couldn't ask for in my prayers. I have a set of friends that care for me and hold me down in ways I couldn't articulate if I tried. And I have a lady that loves me despite. Now you tell me what I see in the mirror when I wake up. I wake up and see that the only thing guaranteed is change. I wash the sleep out of my eyes and see the light. Literally and figuratively. I can't see the future but I can see past the past. And that's a testament in itself.

You look at life everyday and you see yourself in the mirror and you can't see the change. But if you mark the wall to see your height and you come back a year later you see you've grown 6 inches. I've grown 6 inches. 12 inches. And I'm just getting started.

Now that's a change I can believe in.

Drumroll Please...

So today is Nov. 3rd, 2008. While those who know me know that I've been very closely following the election this season, I have become aware that perhaps anyone who happens across this blog may not be someone who knows me "very well."

Now, I am only one third of the current collective that comprises the nosuitnotie entity. While I'm only at liberty to speak for myself, Smiley, I am going to go out on a limb and outright speak for the whole. I (read: we here at nosuitnotie) endorse Barack Obama. I know, I know. That's the impetus that all you undecided voters have been waiting for.

But on the cool, lets be serious. I have taken a larger interest in politics the older I've gotten. Or perhaps the more I've had classes and found something that peaked my interets about the process and the inner workings of politics as a whole. Or found the differences that the process makes in our actual lives. Who knows what it is. I remember having a small amount of interest in the last presidential election, but realizing I was registered in the wrong county and couldn't vote. That was wack. I had gotten a nice talk from a highly respected cohort of mine and it struck a chord with me that was stickier than any marketing ploy. Vote or die. And not in that Diddy way. Literally vote or die. Your father or your grandmother or someone else down your lineage, via the civil rights movement, the woman's suffrage movement or whatever it may be...we've all had someone struggle to get us where we are in this life. To afford us the civil liberties that we all take for granted. The right to eat in the same restaurants, work at the same jobs, accrue the same wages, own property, vote for elected officials, etcetera etcetera. We've seen our ancestors disenfranchised with poll taxes and grandfather clauses. More recently we've seen our election decided by literally less than 600 votes. Votes that may have been counted was it not for hanging chads. Or were it for recounts. We've seen attempts to disallow eligible voters to qualify in THIS very election season. We've seen all sorts of faulty polling booths; booths that switch tickets; booths disregarding your presidential selections; booths that are unverifiable and hacker-prone. We've seen it all. But we're still turning out in record numbers across the country to vote for change.

A change we can believe in.

I'm not one to try and convince you who to vote for because I feel it's important that everyone vote for what's important to them. What is important is that YOU vote. You can't have a stance on anything if you're not willing to make your voice heard. Otherwise you may as well complain in a soundproof room. If a tree falls in the forest and noone is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Umm maybe? Who cares? Noone knows? It doesn't make a difference. If you don't stand for nothing, then you'll fall for anything. Excuse the colloquialisms. I just know that if you care abut the issues, the issues that matter to you, then you need to make your voice heard and your vote count. Take a stand for where you stand. Whether it be abortion issues, marriage rights, health care reform, energy dependence, the state of the economy or the no-end-in-sight war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Whatever your issue may be. What's important to you is at stake. I personally am a stickler for health care reform, energy dependence and advancement and the state of the economy because those are the issues that matter to me. I voted for what I think is best for me and on top of that what I think is best for America. I am part of the struggling middle class and if the day comes where I'm not a part of it I'm going to do my best to remember where I came from and why my stance is what it is. Obama's dedication to mandatory health care is a stance I strongly support. No he's not a socialist. He's not making everything free and shared and it's all redistribution. You have to pay for your own health care. You HAVE to pay for your own health care. He'll have tax breaks for the majority that qualify and if you have health care you get to keep it if you like it. No penalties. I've had times when I wished I had health care of my own to take care of anything that comes up and didn't have it and I think it's important that everyone have health insurance available. I listened to a woman say she supported McCain on the strength that if everyone had health care there would be a lot more people at the doctor and it would delay the attention she needs. I can't imagine wanting others to suffer so I could potentially have faster care. I'm not from that and I won't become a part of that. Restructuring where the tax breaks fall is not socialism. If you were paying attention 95% of you will not see your taxes increase. 95%. I was taught that democracy is about the greatest good for the greatest amount of people. Unless the tenets of democracy are now the tenets of socialism, then I smell foul play in this socialist name-calling session. Also, tax redistribution is a part of darn near every presidency and it's really just going back to the tax breaks of previous presidencies. Don't believe the hype. I'd like to believe that the capitalist dream of free markets and trickle-down economics always works in the log run just like the next man, but we've seen first hand from the sub-prime mortgage crisis, the fallout of the major financial institutions (taking huge gambles risky derivatives) and in the actual hoarding of cash by big banks post-bailout that, without guidance, de-regulation isn't naturally going to work. Everyone doesn't naturally have integrity or do the right thing. It just doesn't happen. Now I don't know exactly where I stand on government intervention, but I know that where I stand right now I'm ok with mandated health insurance and reorganized tax breaks. Something is not working with the guidelines of the current administration so at some point you have to sit back and be open to different and changing ideas of what is right for us now. In this time of economic distress I have paid very close attention...even before I knew the full scope of the mess that we're truly in...and I have scrutinized to the full extent of my personal patience what each candidate has in mind. Mind you, I get disillusioned with politics just like the next man and I know full well that neither has a plan that's perfect, but I am also aware of who has kept a level head and sought out a more steady and clear plan for our economic future. That person is Barack Obama. This is a personal thing, but I have a strong inclination to fight pandemonium. I may be a natural skeptic , but the idea of having a leader of our nation that gets caught in the panic and makes erratic decisions based more on feeling than forethought does not reflect the characteristics of the person I want to lead my country. I've seen that for 8 years and I've had my fill. Now I don't think either candidate is perfect by any means or has reacted to every challenging situation in the "right" way, but I've seen enough over the campaigning period and throughout their history as public officials to have come to a rational and fully informed choice that, of the two candidates, there is a clear choice for who should be in charge of my nation state.

I'm prone to disillusionment with my politicians and I'm only 23. But I'm somewhat excited. Not in the bandwagon way. Not in the bumper sticker way. Not in the "My President is Black, My Lambo is Blue" way. I'm genuinely excited that this is a change we can believe in. I, like everyone else, know that one man can't do that much. But I, like everyone else, know that one man can do that much. Whether that one man be George Bush...or Dick Cheney...or Sarah Palin..or Barack Obama...or Me....or YOU. Everyone makes a difference. If I vote(d), and YOU vote, and you vote and he votes and she votes...then we can elect this person and these people and then maybe next time those people. You see the swing states this time. Believe. If you want, yes we can. Turn Texas Blue. I'm a self proclaimed Democrat, who was raised to answer "I'm an independent" and have been told I have Republican leanings. So at the end of the day I'm voting for what matters to ME. Just like you should vote for what matters to you. From the polls (which I don't believe in), to the turnout, to the monetary contributions in the campaigns, to the cultural phenomenon and fashion statements, it seems that the majority of America...and the world for that matter..can see what I see. That we need this. I know to some degree we're voting for a figure head, but we're voting for someone that I genuinely believe is going to guide our country in the right direction in a clear and thoughtful fashion. I hope in 4 years I can look back and say we made the right decision. I know we have to make the right decision now to even have that hindsight. We have to make that decision tomorrow. Please don't neglect your opportunity. You don't need to listen to anyone else say it. You don't need to listen to me say it. But please, if you care about...whatever it is you care about, then vote. If you don't then you can't be mad when your cause dies. When what you believe in doesn't go the way you want. So forget vote or die. You don't have any other options.

DIE OR VOTE.

Let's Go.