Wednesday, September 17, 2008

...and this is after disaster...

The power came back around 2 or 3 am. I was dozing and confused....on the Nyquil...so the times are unclear.





In the midst of hurricane season, they tell us to keep our gas tanks full and we don't heed there warnings. When we have the city shutdown for scattered showers (Eduoard). When our friends and family in the boot continually get hit. When we don't even talk about Haiti not existing. When Cuba is getting beat to hell. When we're so disillusioned from Eduoard and aren't affected by Gustav so it doesn't hit home like it's supposed to do. When we're so ambivalent that we manage to shake off the promise of "certain death."





When we go to work everyday...but we're still struggling to pay all of our bills. When there's the sub prime housing crisis. When Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac need to be bailed out by the fed. When AIG has to be bailed out by the Fed. Or does it? When one of our oldest and most trusted financial institutions declares Chapter 11 bankruptcy despite having survived the Great Depression a recession WWI II III and IV. The same weekend Merrill Lynch is bought out by Bank of America. When people are so scared of investing that even when the gov't steps in to help it only serves to further scare investors. When the dollar is once again worth that much less than the Euro and the peso and the rupee. When inflation went up by 5.1 % but the wages earned only went up by 3.7%. When we're in a recession because they report that the unemployment rate if 6.7% but when you factor in underemployment of those past 2 years or those who lost jobs who werent full time, etc its really more like 10.1%. That's when we get hit by Ike. Utter disaster. Disaster zone. Obliteration. The Bolivar Peninsula doesnt't even exist anymore. Galveston doesn't exist for the most part. Beaumont, Orange....the list goes on. When you get out the bulk of the storm and call to report your damage and the insurance company is in Pennsylvania and they say, man we just got hit by the hurricane too, we're expecting 10,000 claims today. When it hits the gulf coast, but they're reporting record rainfall in Chicago.



That's when you realize you're blessed.



I got off work at 5 today. Because I had to go to work. Not my folks, nor the majority of the city. But I had to trek to the downtown area on my half tank...knowing there's no gas to go to work. There's no gas to go anywhere. Because you don't work, you don't eat. But the ride was smooth.



I put on for my city. My city puts on for me. When you realize that the people...the individuals are just as, if not at time more important...as the news outlets. When you can look to Peejster, Tracking Ike and Chron, not to mention chron.com, that blessed Chron. I put on for the Houston Chronicle because they show why theyre Houston's leading news source daily. I put on for click2houston and their team. Twitter saves the world when you need up-to-the-second information.



In a time where I realized that we have so much to be worried about, we have that much more to be thankful for.



Today as I rode to work I was a little jaded. I was happy when I woke up because the power turned itself on last night mysteriously and we'd been living in the dark to the sounds of a few generators prior to that point. You never know how much you value power until you don't have any. I washed my face and brushed my teeth with ozarka. It sounds bourgeois, but in reality the water boil notice hadn't come down and there's no way to boil water without power and though it sounds extreme you don't want to be washing your face with the same water dead bodies are floating in. The reality of people having been here with no power and calling (when the circuits arent busy) to say "i'm safe, now let me get off my cell phone b/c I'm trying to conserve battery life b/c who knows when the power's coming back"..well it's all stuff you never think about until disaster strikes.



So I drove to work. The ride was smooth. I used cruise control all the way there. The streets were sparse. I was 20 mins early. You forget that the missing signs and the tree damage isn't going away even though the city starts to look a tidbit better everyday. It's still a disaster area, but you're getting used to it. Because this is life. You forget that despite the clean ups theres some things that arent fixed. And arent gonna be fixed. You forget that even though it's called the city of syrup that it's now the city of lean. Yes, all the trees lean. And not in the same direction so you know the hurricane brought tornadoes. You stop noticing that there's traffic signs missing. Not stop sighs. But traffic signs. Oh you need to know where you're at on the HOV? No there's no sign for that anymore. In fact there's no HOV lane. You can't use that when there's nothing powering the in/out gates. You don't realize when you get to work that there's going to be missing windows. You don't even notice that the windows downtown are missing until they begin to board them up a week later. You don't even think that not only your house, but your office building and every other building everywhere has water damage. But that's not important. It's the people that are important. So i know I'm blessed. When you realize that everyone scrounging for gas is not only so they can get from point A to point B, but because their generator only runs for 8 hours at a time. That it's been a few days and they've spent hundreds on gas just to keep their food and medicine cold. When you you realize that it's really not even close to ok. It;s a disaster. when you realize that over 2 million people are without power and yet everyone's doing their best to hold their heads. I know I'm blessed so I say i'm blessed. Amidst coworkers paying $10 a gallon for gas and price gouging running rampant. State to state even. Food price gauging even. When your coworkers go to PODs and work half days because they live in the hood and looting is rampant. When theres been an amazingly small amount of accidents to say that no traffic lights work. When you run traffic lights without even realizing they were once there. We're gonna make it. It's crazy because the trees look bad, the cities on lean and everything is generally in that much more shoddy condition. My whole city has a blue roof. But you turn on the radio and the people are appreciative. they just wanna know when theyll get power. Oh in a week or 2. Oh word, thanks Jimbo. and it hits you, they're happy because they even can communicate by phone. we're gonna make it.

So i ride home after work.

I exited 45 at scarsdale like natural and there was no point. The ride is smooth. every other car, almost literally, is a truck to fix the electricity. the radio is playing great, even upbeat and inspirational music. Of the stoplights that still exist even some of the broken ones are flashing now. Others are just broken, but thats cool too. 97.9 the boxx (shelly wade...the boxx) is very informative and people call in to say they appreciate them, even when they deliver bad news. They still take it as good as they possibly can. everyone attests they're blessed regardless because no matter what it could've been worse. We beat the water. The wind. The tornadoes and the storm. We have little gas and little food. The trees, the ones left standing anyway, in parts or in segments, look bad. And it's not just ours; it's yours; its everyone's . There's not enough PODs and FEMA isn't picking up and when they do the wait is sometimes hours. The neighbors are bonding, not only because we need each other, but because we literally have no boundaries anymore. Your yard is my yard. I got off work, to go to work .And you know what. I'm blessed. Beyond my wildest imagination. I love you. I love my family. My God is good. My city stands.

I put onnn for my city.


Sunday, September 7, 2008

Can't keep running away


Man the internet is a monster,
Excuse my flow, its my stream of conscioussss
I keep veering off on topics
It's just because ya'll my favorite people to talk with
-Murs- "Murs Inatra"


Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not
Baby, when I know you're only sorry you got caught



I hate that song. Really, but I've been ready to speak on it for a good while and I knew today was going to be the day, but then I happened to have a conversation that solidified it even more immediately pre-blogging.

I've heard about the 11th commandment being "Thou shalt not get caught" for a lot of people. And it's true. People live there lives this way. I think a true sign of maturity is to stop running.



We've all known someone who runs from their problems. Either subverts them or outright runs. You switch high schools, you leave your college, you move cities, whatever you need to do. The older you get the more it happens. Hell, anyone could really say I'm one of those people. But only if you really boogie with me will you know that I completely understand that "I guess knowing when I'm weak is when I'm really being strong." I don't know anyone who hasn't hit a point where they need a clean slate, and if they haven't gotten there yet, then God bless them. But you can't shake your past. You can't juke the mirror and you can't lose your shadow. It's always your past. Ironically it's called your past, but sometimes it feels impossible to get past it. Regardless, I've hit a point where I don't try to run. Which is a lot harder than it sounds depending on where you're coming from. Not everyone has to face their indiscretions everyday. But you reap what you sow. And you can't really get to your blessings without giving your whole testimony. Not your half testimony, but your whole testimony. That's what they tell me anyway. You can't be held accountable if noone knows where you're coming from. Because you can easily slip back into the things that held you down if noone knows what you've been dealing with. So I've decided it's just a part of my life that you know where I'm coming from. And you probably know where I'm coming from. So since you know that, you can hold me accountable. So you reap what you sow, then I'm sowing accountability, honesty and humility. We'll see what I reap. If nothing else, virtue is it's own reward. Funny thing is people run from everything. Well it's not funny, it's true. You can see it in your politics with cover ups everyday. You can see it in your goverment. You can see it in history. So it's got to be fairly difficult to really submit and hold yourself accountable. Virtue is not as easy as it seems and standing up to deal with everything is not as easy as it sounds. But it has to be done. Sometimes you can show people better than you can tell them.


No act will ever be free of consequence,
It don't cost a dime for you to use your common sense
-Murs- "Free"



Can't keep runnin away.....

I must admit on some occasions I went out like a punk and a chump
Or a sucka or something to that effect

Respect I used to never get
Cause all I got was upset
When n's use to be like "whats up fool!" and tried to sweat
A n' like the Lip for no reason at all
I can recall crip n' throwin c's in my face
Down the hall, I'm kickin it in the back of the school eating chicken at three
Wondering why is everybody always picking on me
I tried to talk and tell them chill I did nothing to deserve this
But when it didn't work I wasn't scared just real nervous
And unprepared to deal with scrapping no doubt
Cause my pappy never told me how to knock a n' out
But now in 95 I must survive as a man on my own
F around with Fatlip yes ya get blown
I'm not trying to show no macho, it's shown
But when its on, when its on, then its on


Can't keep runnin away...

There comes a time in every man's life when hes gotta handle s' up on his own
Can't depend on friends to help you in a squeeze,
Please, they got problems of their own
Down for the count, on seven chickens s' don't get to heaven til they faced these fears in these fear zones

Used to get jacked back up in high school
I played it cool just so some real s' wont get full blown
Being where I'm from

They let the smoke come quicker
Than an evil red-neck could lynch a helpless colored figure and

As a victim, I invented low-key
Until the keyhole itself got lower than me .
So I stood up and let my free-form form free.

Said I'm gonna get some before they knocking out me.
I don't sweat it I let the bulls' blow in the breeze
In other words just freeze

Can't keep runnin away...

Its 1995, now that I'm older
Stress weighs on my shoulders
Heavy as boulders
But I told ya
Till the day that I die I still
will be a soldier
Thats all I told ya
And thats all I showed ya
And all this calamity is ripping my sanity

Can it be Im a celebrity
Whose on the brink of insanity
Now don't be wishing of switching any positions with me
Cause when you in my position, it aint never easy
To do any type of maintaining

Cause all this gaming and faming from
Entertaining is hella straining to the brain and...
But I cant keep runnin I just gotta keep keen and cunning...


Can't keep runnin' away...

Saturday, September 6, 2008

The REUPs be like birthday parties...

Strictly business as we get started up again.

Bob Marley Discography (I won't even try to provide the links, grab them yourself, site is NSFW)




Pimp C - Greatest Hits - Chopped and Screwed


The Love Guru (site NSFW)
Speed Racer (site NSFW)


Wall-E (site NSFW)








The Happening (site NSFW)


Video Game: Spore (From the creator of the SIMS) (site NSFW)